Questions that Annoy Me and Their Answers

1. Which came first, the chicken or the egg?



A: Lets think about this logically before jumping to much anticipated conclusions...and lets answer this question with another question: how do we get chickens? Eggs. Its how they grow and form, their little egg pouch. Its their womb, so therefore, wouldn't it be correct to assume that the egg came first? Then you get the argument of how did the egg come into being? Some bible freaks may inquire that God made the first chicken and cock in order to produce more, but lets check reality real quick for a second cause last time I looked chickens are not in the same category as humans when it came to creating the world. I mean, I don't personally know God or anything, but I'm pretty darn sure his list didn't go: Earth, Man, Woman, Chicken. It just doesn't work that way. Then the evolutionists....well, everybody pretty much gets their deal. But then what one really must wonder is who the hell asks this kind of question in the first place? Somebody out to annoy me, that's for damn sure! So, I tell you next time someone decides to try and get all philisophical or try to show off their smarts at an outing and presents you with this question answer them quickly and with only four words: "Fuck off you loser."


2. Which came first, the writer or the critic?

A: Let's think about this logically for one milisecond, okay? Without a writer, would the critic have anything to criticize? Again, stupid people dominate the world! I applaud you: Way to go!

3. Who is David Beckham?

A: I ain't even gonna touch that one. If you don't know, give up on life and consider yourself stupid.

4. The bluntly asked "Are you gay?"

A: Why? Are you a homophobe? Seriously, what is so important about someone's sexuality that you just have to know upon meeting them?

5. Asking "Are you okay?" when severe emotional distress is evident.

A: Gee....next time I'm crying I'll just do my best to look completely blank because apparently all signs of any emotions are totally INVISIBLE to you. Or, how about I change them rapidly so you don't really know what I'm thinking? That way it's like a game. You poke my belly when you want me to stop on the emotion you want? Then you'll just know!

Feel free to comment and leave questions you find particularly annoying.